Key insights and advice from an interview with experienced family law attorney Kathy Boufford, author of “Divorce Matters: What You Really Need to Know When It’s Time to Get a Divorce.” The discussion focuses on navigating the divorce process, common pitfalls, and strategies for a more positive outcome.

I. Common Reasons for Divorce

• Financial Stresses
• Growing Apart

II. First Steps When Contemplating Divorce

• Gathering Good Information
• Communicating with Your Spouse (if safe): While acknowledging safety concerns for some, Boufford suggests that in most cases, it’s beneficial to “sit down and have that conversation” about the divorce. This can help identify areas of agreement and disagreement, potentially minimizing future litigation.

III. Alternative Divorce Processes

Boufford highlights that not all divorces involve a “long drawn out battle” in court. She advocates for exploring more amicable options:

• Mediation
• Collaborative Method of Divorce

VI. Minimizing Emotional Toll on Children

• Children Pick Up on Things
• Prioritize Parenting Plans

V. Advice for Those Contemplating Divorce

• Listen to Your Gut
• Seek Professional Consultation: This doesn’t mean immediately filing for divorce. A “good attorney is not going to tell you immediately to file divorce.” Instead, they may “direct you to marriage counseling, maybe direct you to have a conversation with your spouse, maybe direct you to… a personal therapist.” They can also educate you on divorce options (mediation, collaborative).