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What Happens After You’re Served with a Lawsuit?

Don’t Panic—But Don’t Ignore It.

Few things are more unsettling than having a state marshal hand you legal papers or finding a lawsuit delivered to your home or business. Whether the lawsuit involves a debt, a business dispute, a contract, personal injury, landlord-tenant matter, or another legal issue, your response during the first few weeks can significantly affect the outcome of your case.

At Bellenot & Boufford, LLC, we frequently help individuals and businesses navigate this process. Understanding what happens next can help you protect your rights.

Step 1: Read the Papers Carefully

The documents you receive generally include:

A Summons notifying you that a lawsuit has been filed.
A Complaint explaining the claims being made against you.
Other court documents containing important deadlines and procedural information.

Even if you believe the lawsuit is completely without merit, do not assume it will simply go away.

Step 2: Pay Attention to Deadlines

One of the biggest mistakes people make is waiting too long to respond.

In Connecticut, strict court deadlines apply after service of process. Missing these deadlines can result in:

A default judgment against you.
Loss of important legal defenses.
Wage executions or bank executions.
Judgment liens.
Difficulty opening the judgment later.

The sooner you consult an attorney, the more options may be available.

Step 3: Preserve Important Evidence

Do not throw away documents, emails, text messages, photographs, contracts, invoices, or electronic records related to the dispute.

These materials may become critical evidence in defending your case.

Likewise, avoid deleting electronic communications or social media posts that may relate to the lawsuit.

Step 4: Don’t Contact the Other Side Without Advice

Many people believe they can simply “explain their side” to the opposing party.

Unfortunately, statements made after a lawsuit is filed can sometimes be used against you.

Before communicating with the plaintiff or the plaintiff’s attorney, speak with your own attorney about the best strategy.

Step 5: Notify Your Insurance Company

Many lawsuits may be covered by insurance.

Depending on the nature of the claim, coverage may exist under:

Homeowner’s insurance
Automobile insurance
Commercial general liability insurance
Professional liability insurance
Umbrella insurance
Directors and officers insurance

Failing to promptly notify your insurance carrier could jeopardize available coverage.

Step 6: Meet with an Attorney

An experienced attorney can determine:

Whether the lawsuit has legal merit.
Whether important defenses exist.
Whether the plaintiff followed proper procedures.
Whether insurance coverage is available.
Whether the matter can be resolved through negotiation.
Whether counterclaims should be filed.
The likely costs and risks of litigation.

Sometimes an early resolution is in everyone’s best interest. In other cases, aggressively defending the lawsuit is the appropriate course.

What Happens Next?

Every lawsuit is different, but most civil cases follow a similar path:

The defendant files an appearance and responsive pleadings.
The parties exchange documents and information during discovery.
Depositions and written discovery may occur.
Motions may be filed asking the court to decide legal issues.
Settlement discussions or mediation often take place.
If the case is not resolved, it proceeds to trial.

Many cases settle before trial, but preparation from the beginning is essential.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

If you’ve been served with a lawsuit, avoid these common errors:

Ignoring the lawsuit.
Missing court deadlines.
Posting about the case on social media.
Contacting the opposing party without legal advice.
Destroying documents or electronic records.
Assuming the lawsuit is too minor to matter.
Waiting until after a default judgment has entered before seeking legal help.

GRATITUDE AFTER DIVORCE – Finding Emotional Closure

OK, let’s get the humor out of the way: many of my clients are grateful for the divorce. And that’s understandable. The circumstances leading up to a divorce are difficult and the process of divorce is often difficult. But this is not the gratitude I’m referring to here. I’m referencing something deeper than the circumstances of time and place; rather, an awareness that life is precious, that struggles are an opportunity for growth, that the world is much bigger than ourselves and that our words and actions do make a difference.

Life is Precious: Most of us, me included, go about our day without even thinking about our bodies unless something is not functioning correctly. But how often is everything working right? We are amazing. And our natural world is amazing. We all recognize it when we stop and think about it or observe it. The trouble is, we don’t do that enough. Who has time to do it at all during divorce? It takes all your mental energy just to take the steps to make it to the next day. Now is the time to stop and acknowledge your wonderful self – no matter how many emotional bumps and bruises you’ve acquired. You survived one of the most stressful events that can happen to someone.

Life is good even when it is not: Life is full of ups and downs. It’s easy to feel grateful at the peaks and harder when in the valleys. But we can be grateful, regardless. Being grateful is a state of mind, not just an emotion. It takes effort and practice, but it is possible. One must look beyond the immediate hardship. There is always something profoundly positive to acknowledge: health, a friendship, a fond memory, laughter, a stranger’s random act of kindness, a child’s love, a song, a piece of chocolate, the sunshine, the sound of the ocean, a pleasant aroma, a comfortable bed, a full stomach, among others. And there is courage in facing struggles with an open heart. We too often try to avoid hardship, but it is during hardship that our true abilities must rise to the challenge. We are forced out of our comfort zone. We are tested. Even in failure we learn and grow. But only if we are willing to accept the lesson.

We are but a small part of a big world: Divorce affects so much of one’s life that it is only natural to focus solely inward, making ourselves central. It is here that we can get caught up into thinking ourselves too important, taking credit for too much or blaming ourselves too much, often trying to control too much out of fear. But being thankful requires looking outward and acknowledging that we are often not in control of much our overall life. This results in grace towards not just us, but also towards others.

Affirmative words and actions: Those who practice gratitude not only recognize blessings but affirmatively acknowledge them and act on them. This creates and strengthens social bonds, integrates us with the greater community and makes us part of the positive force helping others.

If you look for good, you will often find it. If you project positivity, you will often receive it. Divorce hinders the ability to do either of these. Often, those involved in a divorce are doing just the opposite and reaping the negative consequences. Changing your mindset can change your life. Try the following to start:

Focus on and acknowledge the good from your prior relationship.
Identify decisions or things you did during the divorce that you are proud of and thank yourself.
Identify decisions or things you could have done better during the divorce and learn from it. Give yourself credit for that insight and for striving to be better.
Identify some friends and family members who helped you through your divorce. Write them a thank you letter or take them out for coffee/lunch and thank them in person. Focus your communication on how they helped you through a difficult time and how appreciative you are. Make it about them, not your divorce.
Keep a daily journal or notes on your phone or pictures of things that bring you joy or comfort. Refer back to them on difficult days and before you go to bed each night.

More tips on achieving peace and happiness following divorce can be found in the book, Divorce Matters, by Attorney Kathy Boufford, available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other on-line book providers.

DIVIDING HOLIDAYS DURING AND AFTER DIVORCE: Tips for Peaceful Parenting*

Holidays can be stressful enough without having to negotiate parenting time. While dividing time between each parent requires some planning and effort, it does not have to be a struggle. Here are some tips to ease the process:

Start early! It is so much easier to focus on creating a child-centered plan when you don’t have the calendar bearing down on you and your time and energy are not already sapped by other holiday to-do’s. Setting up something early also allows advanced communication of the schedule to other family members, thereby reducing the chance of conflicts and hurt feelings.
Focus more on how each parent can best celebrate the holiday than on what day it actually falls on. Many, if not most, holidays are actually celebrated over several days. Independence Day is July 4^th but celebrations are often held throughout the week and especially on the weekends before and after if it falls on a weekday. Some communities celebrate Halloween on October 31^st, but many others have their celebrations on a nearby Saturday or Sunday. This is in addition to the many trunk-or-treats and other opportunities offered by civic and private organizations. Thanksgiving is on Thursday but the Friday and Saturday immediately following are wonderful and customary alternatives to the traditional Thursday dinner. Just because one parent is getting the holiday does not mean that the other parent cannot also have their own celebration with the children.
Although it is common to alternate the actual holidays and then rotate each year, do what is best for your family. Many couples have different preferences as to which holidays are celebrated. An example of this is where one parent’s extended family always has a big gathering on Christmas Eve and the other parent’s extended family does Christmas Day. Another example is one parent who prefers to go away to ski over the President’s Day weekend and the other who would rather travel to warmer weather or visit grandparents during the school Spring Break. These parents may care more about creating yearly traditions with the children than alternating these times. It’s OK.
Do your best to support and compliment each other’s holiday parenting time. It’s not a contest. Your children should be happy to be with each parent without feeling guilty.
Put your agreement, the holiday schedule, in writing. It won’t prevent a parent from disrupting it, but it is likely to minimize conflict and any possible misunderstanding. Include starting and ending times and who is responsible for transportation.

In the end, the best holiday gifts you and your co-parent can give your children is certainty surrounding their holiday schedule and peace between their parents.

*More detailed information on parenting plans can be found in Divorce Matters, a legal guidebook written by Attorney Kathy Boufford available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other on-line book providers.

How Do I File for Divorce on My Own?

Divorces are started one of two ways, depending on the type of divorce appropriate for you.

Nonadversarial Divorce

For those who qualify for the new Nonadversarial Divorce and want to proceed under those guidelines, the following steps must be taken:

Must file a joint petition for the Nonadversarial Divorce. In this petition you will provide basic personal and residence information and certify that the following facts apply to your marriage:

Married 8 years or less;
Neither pregnant;
No children born or adopted by parties;
No ownership or interest in real property (real estate);
Total value of all property owned by both parties is less than $35,000.00;
Neither party has a company sponsored pension plan;
Neither party has a pending bankruptcy;
Neither party applying for or receiving Medicaid benefits;
No other action for dissolution of marriage pending; And
No restraining or protective orders between the parties.

You will also have to agree to proceed by consent and waive service of process, verify that you are proceeding voluntarily, waive any right to trial, alimony, spousal support, and appeal.

You will need to submit an agreement outlining all the terms of your divorce and verify that both parties agree the agreement is fair and equitable.

You will need to both compete and sign before a notary a document called a Financial Affidavit which provides the court with a snapshot of your income, expenses, debts and property.

Both parties will need to complete and sign a document called an Appearance stating you are representing yourself in your divorce.

If either party has received any financial public assistance, a copy of your paperwork to the State of Connecticut, Office of the Attorney General.

Pay any applicable filing fees with the court.

All of the above forms can be obtained via the Connecticut Judicial website: www.jud.ct.gov or at any of the judicial district courthouses.

The court will review your paperwork and could divorce you in 35 days or less. If approved, you will not have to go to court or attend any hearings. You will be notified of your divorce by mail. If the court has any questions or concerns, they will notify you and possibly schedule a date and time for both parties to go to court to address the issues. If the court denies this expedited divorce for any reason, your case will be placed on the regular docket and will proceed pursuant to traditional divorce procedure.

Traditional Divorce

If you do not qualify or do not want to proceed according to the Nonadversarial Divorce rules, you will follow the traditional divorce procedure:

Complete a Summons and Complaint and any applicable motions for temporary orders and sign them in front of a notary at the clerk’s office (the clerk’s office will direct you where to go to do this);

You must then get the paperwork to a marshal for service on your spouse within the prescribed time and pay the applicable marshal fee (the court will provide you with a list of area marshals to contact);

The marshal will make service and return the paperwork to you with proof of service. You will need to file the paperwork and proof of service with the court within the prescribed time and pay the applicable court filing fee;

Your spouse will have a certain date by which he/she is to file a form called an Appearance with the court and provide a copy to you;

If you filed for any temporary orders, you will receive notice from the court as to your court date with instructions for marking the matter ready;

Automatic orders (which should be part of the Complaint) are applicable to the Plaintiff upon signing the Complaint and applicable to the Defendant upon service. It is important to read and understand these orders and follow them. They include exchanging financial information and attending a parenting class if you have children together;

You will be given time to try to work out an agreement with your spouse on your own. If you reach an agreement, put it in writing. At that time, you can fill out the other necessary paperwork and ask the court for an uncontested hearing;

If you can’t reach an agreement, the court will eventually contact you for a status conference to find out what issues are still in dispute. They will then likely send you to the office of Family Relations for assistance and will monitor your case thereafter; and

If an agreement is still not reached after sufficient time, the court will set pretrial and trial dates.

All of the above forms can be obtained via the Connecticut Judicial website: www.jud.ct.gov or at any of the judicial district courthouses. In addition, each courthouse has a court service center which can offer procedural assistance/guidance. They do not offer legal advice.

If you would like us to evaluate your situation to see which type of divorce would be appropriate for you, please contact us for a free phone consultation.

203-304-9050

Our attorneys meet clients locally in Fairfield and New Haven Counties